The Obligatory Year End Look Back

2009 was a routine year, with two exceptions. One was the death of my mother in February. Christmas seemed strange without her, because as she grew older she increasingly became the center of the holiday, in some ways taking the place of children. That may have influenced our decision to go out of town for Christmas this year. The other exception was our cruise to the Lesser Antilles in June—just about as perfect a vacation as possible. I’ll be continuing to place pictures from the islands on my entries.

I turned 66 in ’09, and am a bit obsessed with getting older—actually with the unexpected twists my life has taken over those years. My desire to be a world-famous humble country Episcopal priest fizzled. God had other plans. The biblical pattern for older guys suggests that there may be a burning bush in my future, but I wonder about hoping for it—some days I consider such a hope to be neurotic—and try to focus on what is important today. As corny as it sounds, those foci are worship and love. I go out on my deck every morning and “awaken the dawn” with praise, and I try consciously to open my mind and heart to the lost and confused people I see every day. Anything beyond that is God’s business.

It’s obvious this past year that I’ve become intrigued with the “emergent church,” though my fascination is a bit abstract and comes more through reading than through experience. Sometimes I laugh, because the unbelievers described by emergents are 20 something intellectuals with a bent towards spirituality. The Appalachian-American kids I see every day are definitely not going to sit in Starbucks and talk about Jesus over a latte. The traditional country Baptists pastors speak the language and still have an impact. Anyway, this past year included a re-read of Bruce McLaren and the discovery of Phyllis Tickle. Rosenstock and Jim Jordan have provided a historic structure for understanding the cultural changes behind emergence.

This week I was part of a conversation with some other believers. The first half consisted of rehearsing the horrors perpetrated by Christians upon each other in the name of truth—experiences each one of us had been through (“the Church is the only army that shoots its own wounded….”--I have been both shooter and shootee), and how common pain, division, and rejection are among Evangelicals. We played a great game of Ain’t It Awful. The second half of the conversation moved to emergence. Most of the comments were negative or suspicious. I of course kept my timid mouth shut. But the inability or unwillingness to see a connection between the two topics was an eye-opener to me.

I’ll probably continue reading in the same vein in 2010. My lighter reading is leaning to military topics: Michael Shaara's WW II trilogy, also Band of Brothers (DVD), and a new book called Generation Kill, etc. Plan to go to Lee-Jackson celebration in Lexington next month in uniform! Also plan to keep working as long as my body tolerates it. Every year I go to bed 10 minutes earlier.

Speaking of getting older: I have a history, and too much of it is fallen and foolish to continue to believe that I have bought off God with good behavior. I believe he loves me because he created and redeemed me, and that his plan for me absorbs the bad stuff. His purposes are amazing for all of us. I echo Luther's statement in his commentary on Romans: "The only thing that makes you different from your pagan neighbor is Grace."

Happy New Year, Everybody!