They've changed the road signs in my part of the county to make them readable, and also to inform me that I live on or near a Sevier County Scenic Highway. Hmm. I guess that means that the Dam Store will soon be on the National Registry of Historic Sites. The Dam Store is the last northbound place on highway 338 to get beer, cigarettes, and minnows before the boat dock at Douglas Lake.
The roads here mean what they say. Richardson's Cove and Jone's Cove Roads really do go to coves, and roads named for hollows go to real hollows. Boogertown Road goes to Boogertown, and Boogertown originally had a booger--not of the nasal variety, but a real ghost. None of this suburban nonsense where a road in the middle of Kansas is named Mountain View, or a lane in upstate New York has the moniker "Cactus Flower." I do recollect that there is a road near here on the south side of the French Broad River that is named Something or Other Beach Road. There are no beaches on the French Broad. No surf either, although there is a reasonable substitute. If you go for a swim when the dam opens the spillways, you can be in Knoxville in ten minutes.
That brings me to the name "French Broad." It means what it says. The French were in this area at one time, and the River is broad. It has nothing to do with a hefty mademoiselle named Antoinette who indulged in some questionable behavior in the vicinity of Rosman, NC, where the river originates. Only tourists snicker at the name. We know better.
But I've wandered from the topic of Sevier County roads. Douglas Dam has such a hold on the local psyche that every road north of the river is Douglas Dam Road. It covers most of Kodak. Since Sevierville has split Kodak, there is a Douglas Dam Road East and a Douglas Dam Road West, and there are Douglas Dam Roads that connect East and West Douglas Dam Roads, and intertwining them all are several Old Douglas Dam Roads. At least there are no Mountain Views or Cactus Flowers.
I know this is a bit confusing, so let me back up and give a brief geography lesson. Sevier County is about 30 miles east of Knoxville. The southern third of the county is in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, which creates an interesting legal issue. A kid who is caught smoking pot in Gatlinburg will be put on county probation and help clean up the local roads (probably Douglas Dam Road). But if he walks the 25 yards into the Park he will be picked up by FEDERAL agents and his case will be heard in a FEDERAL court. None of these stories end well.
But I digress. The center of the county is a tourist Mecca down a north-south highway known as 66, 441, or just plain Parkway. Everything on either side is quiet and green, so a 200 yard drive from the mess is a different world. The northern part of the county comes to a point, and I-40 runs through the tip. The French Broad cuts this northern section off and forms a triangle. Kodak is in the middle. Actually, it used to be Henry's Crossroads, and there was kind of skirmish with the Indians there. In 1892 the local postmaster changed the name to Kodak, after the camera, because it was easy to remember and spell, which was apparently a great boon to the locals. Recently there has been a move to refer to it as "Northview," under the influence of the same kind of people who named a road in New York "Cactus Flower."
Anyway, back to the postmaster. Over a period of time Sevierville grew and began to cherry pick up highway 66 and extend the City along that road for 200 yards on either side. If you are having trouble with this concept, I refer you to a quote by Abraham Lincoln, who, when he learned that southern ports would secede with their states, cried out in a cabinet meeting, "But where then will I get my revenue?" This is not a political statement, but an attempt to dignify the decision of the Sevierville fathers with a quote from a president. You are by now wondering about the postmaster. Well, when Sevierville cherry picked, it split Kodak in half, and the Kodak post office is now in Sevierville. This is obviously some kind of sign that Kodak, postmaster and all, should not have messed with the name. Henry's Crossroads, by the way, is about a mile west of highway 66, and from the looks of it, would never have been cherry picked. But it does have a nice historic marker about the Indians.
Because Kodak (we're stuck with the name) was north of the river it was isolated from the rest of the county. Before cars and bridges, people in Kodak had to use one of two ferries to get to Sevierville. I think they were considered as outsiders or weird cousins by the residents south of the river, because the attitude still exists. In fact, it is more widespread. You will not find our name in the Bell South phone book. Knoxville, yes; Sevierville, yes; but not a soul in Kodak. The local Smoky Mountain phone book carried us for a while, but no longer. I don't think this is deliberate; they just don't remember that we're here at all. Until billing time. Kodak has been saved from total isolation from the rest of the world by e-mail and social media.
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